January: Cried multiple times, may have had a breakdown or two.

February: The month was manageable, but tears still flowed and I questioned myself on more than one occasion. The devil was alive and frequenting my shoulder.

March: Things have been evening out, there is an ebb and flow to clients now and what is to be expected. However, I could feel complacency creep in. The very thing that I became restless with at my previous jobs.

How did I adjust and refocus?

I had just said goodbye to my brother-in-law on Sunday afternoon, sat down on the couch and the thought, “No one is going to save you, Christina,” came to the forefront. Maybe I freaked out a bit, maybe I was being dramatic, but it got the cortisol levels racing - kind of like I was in flight or fight mode. Just added a large coffee into the mix and my anxiety was enough for me to produce roughly four hours of deep work. Call it a success. (Getting to bed was another story.)

For the first time in a while, I felt as though I accomplished something - something that could have the potential to move the needle in terms of growth for The Assist. Sometimes, it’s hard to not think I am on this hamster wheel of doing the same thing, over and over again. That’s where I felt I was these last couple of weeks.

I hammered out the next stage of my business, submitted some website changes to Steph, started a proposal for a potential work collaboration, and did some cold email reach out.

That’s the funny thing about entrepreneurship - there really isn’t a good time to let off the gas, especially at my stage in the game. I am still a newbie, still trying to prove myself in the work that I do and getting my message out to the community.

Listen, don’t get me wrong, I love a good routine, but sometimes, I need a jolt - a shock to the system to break the monotonous flow of the week. I reminded myself this month that I need to build in more time for intentional interaction, whether that be grabbing coffee with someone that I just met at an event, or going for more walks with my dog, I need to escape the confines of my home office way more than I have been lately.

My handsome husband grinding with me at Cafe Kubal

I flexed that muscle this past weekend when Wes’ brother, Nick, came into town and again on Monday, hitting up a local coffee shop to work with Wes while we waited for Franklin to get done with his grooming appointment.

Nick’s visits have become a tradition of sorts, centered around the start of March Madness. Nothing special, just very low-key, come as you are to Wes’ man cave where beverages are plentiful and snacks are bountiful. It’s a time to really relax and catch up - to recharge. There is no pressure to “host.” Nick knows his way around. And there’s nothing that a little shopping can’t fix for the two of them when there is a laul in the game schedule.

I also find that if I am prepared (in this case, it’s writing out my to-do list before Nick arrives), my mind isn’t cluttered, I am not thinking about any lingering items and I can fall asleep with a little peace of mind come Sunday evening.

Looking back to the beginning/middle of March, I think I hit a spot of my journey where I needed to slow down and rest, to kind of go through the motions in order to shift gears and refocus.

I’m excited to see what Q2 brings and show everyone the changes come May.

Finding Balance and Growth

39, I am coming for ya.